We had the freedom to screw up and move on. Today’s kids don’t. That’s killing trust.
Our kids are afraid to live out loud in the social media age. We built a generation too scared to dance, eat, drink, laugh or breathe in public.
I hear it all the time:
“Kids these days are too shy.”
“They don’t make friends like we did.”
”She’s such an introvert.”
”I had much more fun when I was his age.”
“All they do is sit at home playing video games.”
But here’s the thing , our kids aren’t actually shy. They’re in defense mode every second of every day, even when they’re asleep, . Every laugh, every step, every “oops” moment could end up online, waiting to be roasted, not only by strangers, but by their best friends and relatives. And guess who taught them to live like this? Yep. Us. We allowed it, we fed the machine. So yeah… we’re part of the problem.
The Fast Times at Ridgemont High are Dead.
Remember when high school was actually fun?
School dances. Hanging at the mall. Trying stuff you weren’t supposed to, your first cigarette, your first kiss, your first feel up, maybe sneaking into a matinee of 10 just to catch a glimpse of Bo Derek’s boobies.
We had the privacy to take risks. Meet new people. Ask her out. Get rejected. Screw up and move on. Our failures and quirky personality traits didn’t trend. They didn’t live forever on somebody’s feed.
Remember Star Wars Kid? He was just a kid that loved a movie. We made it acceptable to mock him online. And our kids learned the behavior.
20 years later and the comments continue. Shame on us.
The 24/7 Camera Effect
We allowed the creation of a world in which kids walk around with an invisible camera crew following them at all times.
That’s not freedom. That’s prison with highlight lighting and acne reducing filters.
Now grabbing dinner with friends or chatting up someone new can feel dangerous, not physically, but socially. If she says no to your date request, the whole world will see it by first period tomorrow morning. So kids withdraw and stay home. We allowed a world to be built that that killed their sense of adventure and freedom.
The middle school dance used to be a minefield of bad hair, awkward slow songs and the occasional uncontrolled boner.
Now it’s a livestream waiting to happen. All anxiety, all the time. Kids know there’s an invisible camera on them 24/7, and that makes them freeze up.
Our kids avoid doing basic things that build real-life connections.
They avoid face-to-face conversations.
They don’t jump into unplanned hangouts.
They’re nervous to try new things because people might judge them.
They hold back on sharing their real opinions, or avoid tough conversations with friends altogether.
Talking IRL feels more awkward and scary, and kids retreat online, where they can hide behind filters and screens. The more this happens, the harder it gets to practice the messy stuff that makes you good at being around people in the first place.
The big fear isn’t just embarrassment, it’s getting mocked, becoming a meme, or being publicly humiliated. It’s not just shyness. It’s a calculated strategy to avoid getting burned by the internet.
That fear of being filmed, posted, and laughed at? It’s everywhere. And it’s killing trust , in friends, in adults, in society as a whole.
Our kids don’t trust anyone anymore. That’s a huge issue.
It’s easy to feel for them. Back in the day, if you made a dumb mistake, it was gone in a week. Now it can live forever online as a “fail” video. That changes everything.
Trying something new? Forget it. The pressure to be perfect is everywhere, especially online. If you screw up, it’s not just a private fail, it can go public. Cancel culture is real, and it’s scary. Kids are so worried about being “canceled” that they stop speaking up or taking risks. It’s all about not making a mistake, not about learning by trial and error like we did. Social media rewards big, bold moves…but if you mess up, you’re toast. That kind of pressure makes you want to play it safe, or not play at all.
Then there’s limited trust between friends. Cyberbullying is everywhere, mean comments, embarrassing pics, threats. Kids who get mocked online feel lonely, lose friends, and struggle emotionally. Even close friends can turn on you if it helps them fit in. The result? Everyone is connected, but nobody really trusts anyone. You’re always on guard, never sure who’s got your back.
Kids feel unloved and exposed, and it makes them even more vulnerable. When the people who are supposed to protect you go public with your mistakes, why would you trust anyone? That kind of betrayal makes kids cynical and withdrawn. They stop asking for help.
Bottom line: we’ve built a world where kids are watched all the time, and it’s making them anxious, lonely, and afraid to be themselves. The freedom we had to just mess up and grow? That’s gone. And if we want to help, we have to actually see what they’re up against , and try to make it better.
DAD BOD WEEKLY 