More than half of campus sexual assaults occur between move-in and Thanksgiving. As parents, we can’t ignore this.
It’s fall and our sons and daughters have finally moved out of the house and into their first dorm room. It’s a big move. We drove them several hours away. We helped them make their rooms Instagram ready. We bought them new bedding, desk lamps, and mini refrigerators. Then we went to the campus store and loaded up on new hoodies and t-shirts proudly proclaiming we’re a university parents.
And then we left them alone.
Everybody is excited. The year is filled with fresh promises. There are new friends, Friday night football, and maybe even a sorority or fraternity rush in their future.
But there’s an uncomfortable issue we need to talk about, because it’s not brought up at freshman orientation. As this new school year begins, college campuses face what many researchers and advocates call the Red Zone. It’s a stretch of weeks between move-in and Thanksgiving when students, especially freshmen, face the highest risk of sexual assault.
A 2024 Higher Education Sexual Misconduct and Awareness Survey found that 19% of undergraduate women reported non-consensual sexual contact. The good news is that the number is down 6.8% from 2019. It shows that prevention efforts matter. This is why we need to discuss this.
A 2023 report from It’s On Us found only 40% of male college students receive sexual assault prevention training. A 2018 study in the Journal of Adolescent Health states that sexual assault happens to boys too, straight and gay. The bottom line is that this issue affects all of our children, and we need to have this discussion.
Sexual assault destroys a student’s sense of self-worth, their mental well-being, and their physical health. Behind every number is a student whose life can be changed forever. We need to have this discussion, so the most important year of their college career starts off safely and on the right foot.
Why is this such a risky time? Well, there’s no single reason. Instead, several things happen at once.
First, a campus is flooded with new and vulnerable students. Freshmen boys and girls are away from home for the first time and they’re navigating an unfamiliar world. They’re trying to find their footing, make friends, fit in, all while trying to figure out who to trust. Their old support system may be gone. This mix of excitement and removal of previous social guardrails makes them more vulnerable. Let’s face it; they are facing situations that may not have existed while living at home. They have more choices to make every day, and they may not have the experience of handling the situations.
Moving to college gives our kids a sudden surge of independence. There is no more curfew, no more LIFE360, no screening of who our kids hang out with. This leads to decreased awareness of potential risks. Kids who are suddenly thrust into new social settings have a reluctance to say no. They want to make friends and fit in. They’re still young and figuring things out. But they need to stay alert and surround themselves with people they can trust.
Second, let’s be honest, there is a party and alcohol culture that is prevalent on many campuses. The first weeks of college are built around socialization. There are Greek life rush events, football weekends, and orientation mixers. Alcohol is often part of the scenario that makes the inexperienced drinker vulnerable. A Johns Hopkins summary of the 2019 AAU Campus Climate Survey found that the majority of both perpetrators and survivors of sexual violence on campus were using alcohol at the time of the incident.
Surprisingly, we need to talk about acquaintance assault. Most of us think of sexual assault as a stranger lurking in the dark. We’ve all heard the stories of a famous sexual assault of a woman on the Stanford University campus behind a dumpster. But national data tells a different story. Eighty to ninety percent of college sexual assaults are committed by someone the survivor already knows. This could be a new classmate, a member of a club, or an attendee at a rush party. It’s the new environment, new independence, and blurred boundaries that create the perfect storm.
Sadly, no one is immune. Roughly one in four college women and one in sixteen college men will experience sexual assault at some point during college. Straight or gay, no one is exempt. The numbers we have likely underestimate the problem. Only about 20% of female student victims report an incident to law enforcement. This implies that the official statistics are most certainly higher than is being reported.
An AAU survey shows sorority women face a 74% higher risk of sexual assault compared to their peers. Undergraduate women overall experience sexual violence at roughly three times the rate of graduate women. This gap is most pronounced during this Red Zone.
So, what can we do as parents who are watching from a distance, sometimes across an entire country? As parents, we must press the administrations of campuses we’re sending our children for straightforward, honest conversations about the Red Zone. Orientation shouldn’t just be about meeting a resident advisor, learning the campus map, and finding out where to rush. Workshops on consent for boys and girls, and bystander intervention should be required. Students need to look out for each other, walk in trusted friend groups, check in after parties, and speak up. Parents, we need to sit down and have a tough conversation with our now adult children before move-in day.
